Its all about just testing your patience right? All these emotions and feelings are raw, present and just temporary right? The way you feel and act upon situations, do not define you, they help build and mould your being, timeline and reality. If you can get so intuitively in touch with the channels of emotions and thoughts that run through the mind that are so heightened and broadened through the realms of new surroundings then your testing life’s questions and more so, life’s existence, most people do not even get outside of the box to begin to attempt it. 
What am I getting at here; well I am on this journey of getting a little lost, finding some new, unique existences down routes and paths that I did not even know were possible to take. The true test, is the very test of yourself. How far can you push, how willing are you prepared to go, how crazy or intense do you want to experience? What questions are you prepared to ask to get the answers that scare you the most? Do you want to fly or fall, jump or leap as far as you can. Or perhaps both. 
I have so many outlooks, so many visions and dreams; enough sometimes to make me feel like i’m going to explode. “Very few know how many woman there are in me”. One very inspiring, true goddess of a woman told me that once and in how many ways can I scream that, it stands for more than I could even begin to explain.
These travel routes, the diversions I put myself through to save the most dollars, cents, pennies. The crazy 3-4 day stints, the sleeping in airports, the most horrendous hostels, taking ferries for days; stop overs, layovers in the most bleak, sometimes a little terrifying places, that are unpleasant to say the least. The long drawn out, claustrophobic, humid environments that you put yourself in and means of transport that you take is just another step and almost test of how much you can endure sometimes as a human. Theres moments where I feel like I have done it all; until another situation arises, that I happen to sign myself up for and its 2 days in on a 5 day divergent, to get to the destination that you have dreamt so hard about. Iv’e done it once, sometimes twice, but I would do it again, and I will keep doing it, until it
s not fun or enticing anymore; anything for some memories to put on the life plaque, right. 

I tested myself. I tried to stay patient, present and in control of my current, wired out of control thoughts that were on frequencies I have never absorbed before. I signed myself up because I wanted to do it the different way out, not the easy, simple, direct route. Why not just catch a plane and couple of taxi’s; you’ll be there in a few hours kind of route. Well all of that is simple and effective and did I also mention, EXPENSIVE! 
So instead a couple of weeks ago, I set off in sight of one of the most beautiful, greenest most pristine islands in The Philippines, but the journey got a little back tracked mainly due to a slight lack of clear, research and slightly misleading information and the result was a pretty stale, prolonged, uninspiring stay in a place called Iloilo City. 

The journey logged goes a little something like this;
– Siquijor fast-craft ferry to Dumaguett
– Jeepeney (these are motorcycles with carriages on the side) from port to Ceres bus liner station
– Ceres bus terminal departure for Bacolod City
– Arrival at Bacolod City (side street)
– Jeepeney to Bacolod City port
– Fast craft ferry from Bacolod City to Iloilo City
– Arrival Iloilo City port – taxi to Ong Bun Pension House 

After arriving in the evening at Iloilo City, we realised that we missed the Milagrosa shipping ferry that leaves twice a week at 7pm. So fortunately we bumped into some young Filipinos, who managed to direct us to a standard, cheap pension house in the city where we could at least rest our heads until we could figure things out in the morning. Ong Bun Pension House (OBPH) it was called. The feeling and general ora of this hostel was extremely grimy, dark and pretty unwelcoming, which is everything I wasn’t too keen for, but as I always do, suck it up and appreciate a place to rest for a second. Iloilo City is not the most cleansing, soul enlightening place to wake up too. We got on with our days ahead, in high anticipation that it was going to go by faster than we knew and we’d be on the ferry heading for a new horizon. Iloilo was a tough 3 days, I suppressed a lot of feelings due to many reasons. The people of Iloilo stared a lot, and the stares that I experienced were dark, fiery curious stares; which left you feeling very un-welcomed and a little angry inside after a while. We both felt alone in ourselves and wanted time to move quicker; which is something I never want to wish for with my days. We struggled to find healthy, fresh food; its a place where the majority of produce is packaged in large quantities and sold in big, corporate supermarkets. The restaurants on offer are mostly fast food chains and full of meat and food that looked so un-appetising. And in my eyes of how I view food and health some of it looked pretty unfit for human consumption. It was a place that made me feel a little confused and sad that the society that lives there, isn’t supplied with the fresh, vibrant healthy produce that every human should be able to purchase at a reasonable cost and consume. Amongst the exhaustion of being an observer of a society that lives this way, we survived the 3 days; not so energetic or too enthused but aside the small mishap of having to stay a little longer than expected, we booked onto the second and last ferry leaving for Palawan on the Thursday and boarded, with as much enthusiasm and relief at 7pm and the next big stint of finding a new horizon and island hopping in The Philippines, was well on its way.

So perhaps the questions I ask aloud, to you the reader are the questions I subconsciously ask myself along my way off and on the beaten path. Take yourself outside of the box, the one that society tells you is the way it is supposed to be, the one where they feed you the life that suppresses you and controls the frequencies of your thoughts and desires to be free and feel spiritually awake and alive to live in a world where there is compassion, laughter and love between cultures and humans. 

“Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you previously never have thought of doing, or been to hesitant to attempt. So many people live within un-happy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man or woman than a secure future. The very basic core of a mans living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a simple, more freeing style of life, that will at first appear to you to be crazy, but once you become accustomed to such a lifestyle you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.”   

John Krakauer.

Useful contacts:

Milagrosa Shipping lines information – Cargo ferries that run from Iloilo City


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- A nomad, a Globe Trotter - Originally from the UK, but home is the road and has been for the past 4 years. - Seeking the unique and unusual existences in the world - Deep and meaningful talks. "I am not lost...I am just on my way" Contact for enquiries -

2 thoughts on “How.Bad.Do.You.Want.It?”

  1. Extremely well written my darling your journey has been difficult at times but you have survived and grown because of it and learnt so much and seen amazing beauty may it continue we are proud of you, your journey is so enlightening x

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